Saturday, 18 June 2011

This may be my last post.

Tomorrows my birthday.
I'll be 17.
So will she.

I'll be facing the dollmaker tomorrow.
in my dreams.
we both want to win, but only one of us can.
Hence why I now say, this my be my last post, for tomorrow I may die.

what a scary thought.
Have I lived the life I wanted to?
I'm going to be 17 and I'm going to be killing a part of myself.
Either way, I don't know if Ill be OK.

If I live through it, it may take a few days for me to recover from the images that will fly though my head.
for what my grandmother described I should do, is horrifying and sicking, yet I know i must go through with it.

I don't want to leave this world and if you could see the tears streaming down my face you would see that I do want to live.
Even with slenderman, the troubles I face even with the proxies.
I have you all.

Without you I wouldn't be able to do this, you are all like a second family.
Therefore I thank you.
To all of you, the fighters keep fighting you are strong, the runners keep running you are smart, the confused keep looking you will find, the dying don't give up help will arrive.

I wish you could hear my voice, I would tell you how proud I am to have met you all.
If you could see my smile I would make sure you remembered it.

I'll use every ounce of my strength to make sure that if it so happens I die, I will die still trying to fight.

I'm not super human, I'm not a special case, I'm still only a teenage girl trying to find her way through life.
I just happened to have a little bit more pushed onto her plate.

Just a little bit different from the rest, but that's what makes me, just being like this.
Maybe that's why I look up when walking, I'm trying to find something up there like me.
Something a little bit different that has to face this cruel, cold world.
Maybe that's why I like the stars so much, because even though the sky is dark or the air may be cold they shine so bright, and the only time we can't see them is when they are covered.

I want to be like that, I want to shine bright and make sure the only time people can't see me is when I am covered over.
I wonder often if I can be.

The stars are so beautiful.
Can I become beautiful like them?

I guess i can only say that, even if I die remember that I died trying, remember that one thing that I never died giving up that I stood and fought till I couldn't move.
Remember that one thing.

I want Joel and Lucas to keep trying, you two show a strength that I've never really seen, maybe it's because you have each other.
I want Shady to keep going, you've faced so much so don't you dare give up.
I want Mystery to give advice to all, you were ever so helpful to me I am forever grateful.
I want Trinity to stay alive, your a great person I can tell, therefore you need to live.
M, Your very smart don't stop running.
Z, I'm sorry for the troubles you've faced, keep your head up and run.

Your all amazing, thank you.
If I live, I hope to meet you all. things that never change no longer in this world? things that I want to convey no longer in this heart?

The depths of the night, morning awaits, the repeating everyday...

Hey, if you have already forgotten about that promise,
Hey, with this singing voice, ah, hope it reaches you,

From the end to the start, from overflowing tears today begins

To the distance to the distance the silhouette of past seeking for light, ah...
To the distance to the distance wanting to grasp the unceasing mirage, yeah...

Overlapping, overlapping, light and shadow
Beyond there lies something

It’s a miracle that we were able to meet
My eternal thoughts shine
I’ll be by your side forever and ever

Never forget.


  1. You are stronger than me, far more so. All I've done is freak out since Slendy started stalking us, you've been through worse and you're still here, still sane.

    So you know what? No. Win that fight tomorrow, let everyone know you're ok, and kick that bitch Dollmaker's arse.

    Then when you're standing over her mutilated corpse, wake up and look forward to meeting us when Joel wakes up. :3

  2. @Lucas: I will try. I promise you that much.

  3. I have every confidence in your victory. You should too. And if you cannot get rid of her completely, you know we will help you if you can make it to Jersey.

  4. Mystery is correct, you have a home here with us. I will not agree to saying a farewell to you, my dear. You are stronger than you think, the potential within you is there and waiting. I have just as much confidence, I have confidence in your survival and I have hopes in your victory. I'd rather see you survive so you have another day to find a way to gain a victory than die.

    Stay safe, dear.

  5. Lullaby, you are such a beautiful thing...Do not assume that tomorrow will end this life of yours. Do not write a goodbye note now, for tomorrow you may find that your power is far more greater than you ever believed it to be. I have a feeling that you will somehow live. I will not believe you to be gone until you truly are gone.

    I will be waiting and watching for your arrival, Sister. Do not lose hope...You are a strong Fighter. I am glad to call you Sister.

  6. @Mystery: Thank you, I can only hope I have will have the confidence that you seem to have in me, I thank you for your offer in a place to stay, hopefully we will meet.

    @TheShadyLady: I am thankful for your offer as well, to have a place in this world makes me more excited to have a possibly to meet you. I can only pray I will walk out of this fight victorious.

    @Trinity: I must as well say thank you, for having a feeling that I will live, it makes me very happy. I am proud that you would call me your Sister.

    Thank you all very much, I don't know if there are word's in this heart that can show my gratitude towards you all.
    I can only hope I can fight this fight, and emerge with a smile and the chance to say 'I did it'