Monday, 27 June 2011

Naze Watashi?

なぜ私'Why me'
I've been looking at the above statement, Mystery left me with my laptop so I opened Itunes and played my favorite music.
I'm not sure why, why I was stuck with this problem.
I'm almost set on going into silent mode and never talking again, ever since I was a child anyone who's been close to me has either disappeared or left me.

I've always been alone.
And now I'm alone again.
Why am I always alone? I wanted to be around someone my entire life and just have someone who will do the same.

But no one seemed to care, until I met you guy's. Then why do I feel so lonely? as if I'm not like the rest. could I be hated for having her inside me possibly...

Then what is my purpose? This is why at times I wish I was a star, no one hates the stars, have you ever heard someone say that they hate the stars?
But yet I still have this drive to live, I don't even this this is me, this cannot be the me everyone should know.

I am no longer Lullaby.

I refuse to even say the me that is speaking and writing and breathing is me.
I believe the Dollmaker has hidden the true me away somewhere in the sky, so that I can only feel as she does.

If this is this true Dollmaker please do away with me that way I may shine in the heavens then I wont be lonely.

Life is so heavy to live.

"Where should I head towards? Even if there isn't answer, I'll feel better by writing it down. I've looked for a pair of helping hands but I couldn't feel them, couldn't see them. I only face towards darkness and hear, hear the sounds of my hopeless screams."-Aya kito

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