Wednesday 1 June 2011

Happy June 1st?

I wish you could hear the excitement in my voice* Intense scarsasim*
A new month, i'm not so happy about it though, it just mean's i'm getting older and more tired it reminds me of the battle I'm fighting with myself
my family
friends
everyone.

Although I still refuse to give up for whatever reason something is pushing me.
Whatever it is should I thank you? hate you? loath you? adore you? admire you?

destroy you?
I guess it really comes down to the question do I want to live? Yes&No.
Yes-life is interesting and there is so much to learn so much more for me to see.
No-Sleepless night, tired day's, pain and suffering around the world, evil, never enough, no one is happy anymore.

Looking at it that way the negative outbalances the positive.
yet everyone is fighting so hard, I watch them in the background they look like animals working for something that will soon not matter.

How sad.
How pathetic
How worthless
Disgusting creations we are
we see only what we wish
blocking out the cold and unnatural
acting like we are innocent

What sin have I created?
What wrong have I done?
I've called this place my hope.
What kind of hope is it though.
A waisted mass of flesh and skin.
Crafted so all can point & laugh.
A ugly figure who stands and stairs.
But rarely speaks a word.
The one who smiles and fakes a laugh
I am the one beside you, the one with you, I am the one thinking of you well you sleep.
Maybe I'm just a dream
A sad
Pathetic 
Worthless dream. 
Crafted by man.

I wonder how many people are just playing an ARG.
I wonder how many people are truly in danger..
The numbers in my head scare me as the ARG players outnumber the real dangers.
Happy June 1st.

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