Monday, 28 November 2011


I took Lullaby out for a walk, the air was chilly maybe a bit too much for Lullaby, but we needed to go out. It’s been awhile since Lullaby got fresh air and Doc…. Goddamit is all I can really say. Am I going to make this a drama show on how the father leaves the mother and leaves nothing but for the mother to use her entire life raising the child? No, in fact I’ll raise Lullaby perfectly fine on my own.

Also I want to keep her safe, safe from HIM the slenderman, if I can keep Lullaby safe from even just him im a good mother. No person should have to go through dealing with the slenderman. The being who drove me and her into this madness, proxies, mind controlled beings…this has to stop, we have to beat it for our children or friends our family.

Lullaby made a small noise, not like she was speaking, but she was excited as she pointed towards the ground. I looked down to see what the fuss was about there on the ground was a cat. Lullaby was getting very excited.

A cat? Really? I was more concerned on finding Doc, the problem is I don’t know where to look, I would check his blog but in a way I’m too scared of what I would find. Now that I think of it this whole commotion is my fault and lullaby? Lullaby was looking at me, strictly, unwaveringly in the eyes. “What’s wrong?” I said in my motherly voice, nothing changed, the cat was still there, her eyes never left mine. “Lullaby?”  I didn’t know if it was lack of rest or lack of food but I suddenly became dizzy.

‘down’ I slowly lowered myself to the ground, on my knees holding lullaby. Clenching in pain I heard the childlike voice in my head again ‘kitty’. The cat ran up towards us and rubbed its head against lullaby and she sounded so pleased.

‘kitty…’  Lullaby reach out and petted it. ‘such a pretty kitty’ lullaby was happy the pain ceased and slowly I was able to get up. My baby was starting to get fussy maybe a mixture of the cold and the fact that Lullaby has not been sleeping right I fed her and put her back in her crib.

The only thing I can do to relax myself is read how others are doing, but even that not makes me depressed things have been going things are becoming missing. I heard my pocket watch tick, maybe I could message Lucas tell him how baby Lullaby is, how I am…

Then again, can messages reach heaven?

I don’t think I cried so hard in a long time, one of my close friends has died, this is a world with slenderman after all what else can we expect I won’t be surprised if Lullaby grows up in this world. I want to teach her how to survive, and for god’s sake if I can’t teach her maybe someone else can maybe an Angel.
Goddammit how do I keep my faith like this?! I finally got some sleep and all I can dream about is the snow and an angel holding my Lullaby, Please God don’t take away my Lullaby…..

Shes all I have left.

Thursday, 3 November 2011

Lullaby and happiness?

Lullaby was falling asleep, her eyes slowly closing, making small motions with her tiny lips small bubbles forming, her tiny hands reaching around touching my face.

I put her in the crib to sleep, she was so peaceful breathing in softly, her chest moving slowly, its been awhile since ive updated I’m sorry baby lullaby is so quiet it scares me, I sat by her crib rocking it softly.

“Lay down you head and ill sing you a lullaby, and ill sing you to sleep, bless you with love for the road that you go…”

I got up slowly, my white skirt falling to my ankles, I wrapped my black sweater tightly around my bare arms. She really is beautiful Mystery, I wish you could see her so delicate and small, next thing I know im running.

Blindly running, through the woods, the branches ripping at my clothing, at my skin, I can’t even remember from what all I remember is a voice in my head telling me to run.

I remember the ground crunching under me, forming around my foot and how I twisted my ankle and started to fall, my chest hitting the ground so hard I forgot how to breathe.

When I woke up it was pitch black, I was lost, and it was cold. The cold stabbed me on my bare skin over and over and over its knife gliding over me slicing my bare skin.

All I saw was the darkness, all I could think about was lullaby she would be awake by now, probably crying, but that was the odd thing, Lullaby never cried since her birth, now she just watches you almost as if she sees something.

It’s so weird; you could walk by her crib, make the loudest noise, or wake her up and she will just stare at you, never cry never want to be lifted or fed she just stared at you. I think she smiled once, when she saw a kitten….that was the only time.

I managed to wander back, feeling my way throughout the forest, upon my return I stumbled into the bedroom, lullaby turned her head at the sound of my entrance and stared at me she reached her hand out.

She was hungry.