Wednesday, 28 September 2011

His breathing was so soft on my face, it ticked but was warm and inviting, I curled closer into Casey and let out my own inviting breath. It was so late, my stomach was killing me, and I could not sleep even with Casey 
right beside me. I went out to get food, I assumed everyone would be sleeping.

I assumed wrong.

As I was collecting cookies I heard footsteps, I turned sharply dropping the cookie that was in my mouth to see a MASC member standing there with a smirk. “No wonder you’re so fat, all you do is eat” Naturally I became upset.

Doc was standing right behind him and tapped his shoulder, had he heard everything? His fist whistled through the air landing correctly against the MASC members face, I ran into the corner and curled up.

Through the darkness I could not see the movements only hear the sound of something breaking and someone crying out. Casey grabbed my hand and I held onto the cookies tighter he sat me on the bed and softly kissed my forehead. “I need a walk” he whispered silently into my ear and left me sitting there with my cookies.

In that one moment, I never felt so….


Please don’t do anything stupid love.

Tuesday, 27 September 2011


Doc, I may love you.

I don’t know if I have a firm reason to believe this yet but something in my heart is telling me that I need to help you.

And I feel bad that all I could do was comfort you, but I want to help you so much more, I’m just scared something is wrong with me. I’ve been a lot hungrier, I hate to admit it but I’m sneaking food from the kitchen, I’m terrified the MASC will see me and try to take away my food.

“Casey...I need you to look at this” I pulled him aside for a moment; I know he’s going through a rough time but he needs to see this.

I pulled up my shirt just above my ribs, my stomach was pushed out a bit like a budge, and I hate to describe it because I think it looks horrible. Doc softly put his hand on my stomach and looked at me softly, “Lullaby we need to get an ultrasound or something, this is not normal” I felt so bad, the truth I had never had a relationship with anyone but Doc, I bit my lip softly. I had to ask  

Mystery or Shady or someone, just to make sure that I’m not eating too much, even so I believe Doc fully and grabbed his hand tightly and hugged him and all I could do was cry.

That’s all just cry, every part of me broke down everything was happening to fast for me even the world I once knew was crashing before my very eyes, but I think that was just me as I blacked out. When I woke up in bed I pulled the sheets above my chin and curled up.

Casey was sitting at the foot of the bed rubbing my legs, I smiled softly he was too kind to me. “Tomorrow, maybe Friday we’ll go to the doctor’s I have money to pay if needed, we can get an ultrasound”

At this point nothing mattered, all I knew was Doc and me, and we had to stay with each other no matter what.

Casey I think I love you.

I’m sorry.

Tuesday, 20 September 2011


I, honestly, have no idea where to start. So much has happened, and I do not wish to make seven pages full of nonsense that would bore you.

So I will start here: We were attacked, in such a brutal and forceful way that it scared me to watch it, yet enraged me in such a way I wanted to move I wanted to go in and attack. Fear held me in place, like a force grabbing me by my ankles forcing me to watch this happen to my friends.

How dare this man enter our home, our haven, and cause destruction.

The man, he noticed me and he moved so fast I couldn’t do anything, his hands wrapped around my neck bringing me down onto his knee. If even for a moment I cannot forget that pain, my left three ribs are broken, it hurts to breath.

Dollmaker, he burned her tiny body, the same flames ran through my body, this was not the warming effect that you would think it was a burning, a stinging pain under my skin the kind you can’t just put out. I remember just lying in the wall, my chest stinging with pain the world was a blur as the tears streamed from my eyes.

I remember hearing his footsteps pass me; I couldn’t give up like this I had to fight…

…so I moved, I moved so quickly, my feet hit the floor and although I felt as if I would topple over to one side I knew I had to keep moving.

And In an instant he was gone, where?  If only this question had been answered in another way, but it was not and the lamp post it impaled me so quickly I lost my breath. I lost all sense of time, of the place I was in of everything and I choked violently on a foul liquid as the object was removed.

The liquid was my own blood mixed with my saliva, a foul taste that to as of now still lingers in my mouth.

The rest was darkness, a darkness that felt so real I could touch it, I could taste it as if I could breathe it in and it was killing me slowly.

Unless I was already dead, and this was it an empty space for the rest of eternity.

Seeing the light was more terrifying, I have always heard about ‘the light at the end of the tunnel’ when someone is dying how they see a bright light.

This light was different someone gently taking me moving Dollmaker and myself into another dark area, this had more room, more breathing space.

It hit me, was Dollmaker OK? That glass could have cut the bean, no, the bean was whole but the hole would have let it escape it needed a safer place.

Mystery, Shady, Trina. I’m sorry.

I swallowed the bean.

It didn’t seem to do anything at first, but the thin skin of it broke releasing the proxy powers of Dollmaker.
She seems dormant, it’s weird having her inside me that power I once had is back, yet nothing has changed 
I’m still me, and I still have all my old memories.

Well In the basement it was dark, I tried to remember my clock in my bedroom at home it’s ticking relaxed me in times like this. Tapping my foot softly on the ground I tried desperately to imitate it, tick, tick, tick, tick; Nothing just the empty feeling you get when you know your alone.

Not even Dollmakers mutilated body offered me comfort, maybe because it wasn’t speaking, it wasn’t moving, no actions indicating life ever existed in the tiny figure, the torso had been ripped open exposing the cotton inside, the thread from the left arm had come undone the fabric laid there without any support, the cotton from inside must have leaked out as we ran to where ever I am, both legs and the ‘waist’ were burnt.

A door from somewhere opened, and I curled up, the actions of cramming myself into a tiny ball hurt so much, the wound from my stomach re-opened and bleed slowly, as well as my broken ribs.

The lights flicked on, the brightness blinded me for a moment once I regained my vision I saw a young man standing there.

Whoever it was slowly took my hand promised me he meant no harm, I believed him wholeheartedly, slowly, almost unwillingly I uncurled my body; the blood from my wounds had already stained the floor.

“That looks bad” he said noticing the cut through the ripped fabric of my shirt, now looking down back was bad the cut was still leaking blood if I moved too fast. He comforted me, rubbing my arm’s checking a few things, one of which included my ribs, I cried out in pain when he ran his fingers over the broken ones.

“You got beat up pretty bad didn’t you?” he asked taking out a few things, I didn’t know what to say.

“Yes” my voice sounded so soft, it was almost unfamiliar to even myself, he turned around and got to work cleaning my cuts and scrapes, tending to my broken ribs carefully.

“What’s your name?”


“What a beautiful name”

“Why thank you, may I ask what your name is?”

“Just call me Doc”

Doc, I liked it, he sat beside me and we got to talking, this took my mind far away from the pain to a happier place. After all that has happened I didn’t know if happiness could happen again.

I couldn’t remember what action to take, maybe a smile next a laugh, silence, move my hand into his nothing big. He followed what seems to be the same actions a smile, a grin, a word of comfort, a laugh; in my silence he moved my hair, and then he squeezed my hand.

Nothing big right?

Just nothing big.

Nothing big.

Next thing I know me and him are gripping each other tightly running blindly through the woods where were we headed? Somewhere I remember faintly a place that we called the haven the place where I was buried and left for dead.

A placed called home, where the people I knew and the people who cared about me must be there has to be someone home Mystery? Shady? Trinity? Anyone?

I couldn’t understand why I was driven by something as foolish as this emotion, stupid, foolish, pathetic. Almost like Doc could see me fighting myself, he squeezed my hand tightly.

And we fell upon it, upon the haven, upon my home, my family.

“I’m home…” I cried out.

I wish only that the post could have ended there, sadly I heard a click so distinctive I froze up, fear for my life and fear for Doc kicked in.

Put down those damn guns before I feed them to you. Mystery’s voice it rang softly through my ears, although her tone was much less than happy.

Shady and Sunshine were in the back, watching carefully. I ran up hugging Mystery tightly tears streamed from my eyes, I missed her, I missed them all, I never wanted to leave again, and I wanted to die here.

Then men lowered the guns and stepped back.

Mystery, Shady, everyone…where do I start?