Friday, 23 December 2011

Not yet forgotten

I remember how the skies were painted a delicate sky blue, I remember laying on the solid green grass, the earth beneath me and the truth was nothing could stop me I probably would have wanted to fly if I knew that I wasn’t so planted to the ground.

I remember watching the birds, there white wings cutting through the air, I remember being 13. The way the warm summer air caressed my hair and found its way under my shirt to warm and tickled my body.

Where is that innocence? That beauty what I once saw, where did it go? I had a dream during it was of that blue sky only this time I was flying.

“Dammit!” I cried out, why dammit? Why did I cry out that? Lullaby came rushing in she turned her head and her black hair bounced slighting.

“Mommy OK?” she asked, she only started speaking and everything that exits her tiny little pink lips is sweet sounding and relaxes you, her innocence is…outstanding.  

“Yes mommy’s ok Lullaby go play”

The young child cocked her head slightly, she didn’t believe me. “Sure?” she asked again, this time I nodded and smiled.

It’s hard to keep up with Lullaby I’m tired all the time and lately I feel so alone, she watched the trees a lot. She will sit on the ground and watch the tree tops sway back and forth with a mystified look in her small eyes almost as if there’s something up there we cant see.

And recently  I’m living on a single thought, ‘protect’. What though? What am I to protect could it be Lullaby? Shady?  The Haven? Myself? It’s been driving me crazy and I’m so tired, I’m tempted to abandon this stupid piece of work and give up on Lullaby and just….

Just go away.

I could smack myself sometimes you know? It’s almost Christmas as well, secretly I went into town and bought Lullaby something, it’s a small necklace with a silvery blue round charm on it.

I won’t give it to her yet though, not yet, not until she’s a little older.

I have hopes Lullaby, My precious Lullaby that you will one day reach a new height, can’t you feel it? The warm breeze calling to you, you will find it and embrace it. Lullaby I know you will love the feel of it as it caresses your black hair and when it drives through the cracks of your fingers. You’ll love the touch of the cool water as it swarms around your feet and the sounds of the seagulls crying out.

Lullaby my hope is that you will live in a beautiful home next to the ocean, where the sun’s rays crawl over the blue ocean dying it a golden colour, its true you may never have a field of dandelion’s that make a sea. But if you’re lucky maybe I can give you a sea that looks like a field of dandelion’s.

Lullaby I love you and I can swear, some days you say:

‘I love you too mommy’  

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Visitor in the woods

Lullaby was walking around inside the border; I am amazed at how fast my baby girl is growing. I don’t know what a normal growth is but I don’t think this one is.

The wind blew harshly and it caressed my hair, Lullaby walked up to be and kissed my forehead smiling and laughing. But still she won’t talk; she responds to her name well I call it out ‘Lullaby’ and she runs towards me.

Mr.Sunshine was wandering around outside and so were the masc. Even so without Shady and Trina and Mystery and even Lucas it didn’t feel like home…I didn’t know if I could let Lullaby grow up here, even with the wards she would still wander into slenderman or one of his proxies.

“DeMii” I looked over my shoulder as Brood called my name; he motioned for me to come towards him. “Lullaby mommy will be right back.”

As I stood up Lullaby wanted to follow, she waddled towards me clumsy as can come her dress wavered in the wind showing her socked feet.

“Lullaby mommy will be right back” I whispered patting her head, she blinked looking at me with her soft hazel eyes, she didn’t understand why I was leaving her and she seemed upset by it as she gripped my hand.

“Unn Unn” she said over and over, lullaby never seemed to speak only make noises. Still reluctantly she let go and wandered off.  Within moments after reaching Brood I turned to see someone grab my baby. “Lullaby!” I cried out running towards my child, her long black hair curled in the now spine chilling wind that seemed to sway the trees.

“Yes?” I asked, the wind seemed cooler over here I noticed there was less protection from the haven.
“Its about Lullaby…” I could feel my heart race, in a way it almost sank.

I swallowed and prepared to speak, “Yes? What about Lullaby” I asked curiously.

“Havnt you noticed? Her growth is in a way almost unexplainable, I don’t want to alarm anyone else but it seems abnormal…”

The weirdest part was, I had noticed, I didn’t know what was normal though but thinking about it lullaby was already able to wabble her way around the haven.

I nodded firmly, “yes ive noticed that…” I said a bit unsure still of what Brood was getting at.

“I want to be sure you and her stay safe” “Understood now if you don’t mind I have to go back and make sure she dose not do something that would cause harm.

I turned around to see Lullaby being held by someone at the edge of the ward. “Mommy!” She cried out I couldn’t tell who was with her but it was at the wards edge, I managed to run closer and closer feeling my heart stop entirely.

I remember… that figure. He held out his arms, handing Lullaby back to me, I took Lullaby back into my arms, no struggle could he have been protecting lullaby?

“Mommy!” Lullaby yelled holding onto me tightly I could feel tears streaming down her face. ”Mommy! Scared!” She started crying into my neck.

I couldn’t understand why was he protecting Lullaby? He looked at me then walked off, what was a supposed to say?

I brought Lullaby back into the haven and put her down for a nap

I never wanted lullaby to say the words scared…could I not protect her right, I’m a bad mother I should have brought her with me.