Friday 5 August 2011

DAMMIT!

"...and this time it will not be my fault" the damn words echoing, Dollmaker could it be..my fault?
It was fine, it was all OK everything was fine untill..until just then.. and I said I would protect them..I never.

All I could do was stare into the sky, would she be ok?..shit so.Fucking.Useless, but thats how we all must feel. DAMMIT.

I could feel warm tears stream down my cheeks, these tears could they be tears of anger? "Shady..I swear if its the last damn thing i do..the last damn thing I do...I will fucking find you and made this right"
could i be lying to myself again?

I cant tell am I pissed off that i was useless, am I sick of being like this, am I scared by knowing how vulnerable I am, what the fuck am I feeling?

I sat in my bedroom...I am....tired...I am...
scared.

I couldn't help it, I stood infront of Mystery for a full three minutes without a word...then I bolted forward gripping into her shirt tightly. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." I was begging for forgiveness for something I never did. something that *I* had no control over.
Mystery rubbed my back told me everything was ok, that I should rest, tomorrow is a new day, we still have so much to do.
I'm now in bed...unable to sleep...for I am an insomniac.

Shady....stay strong.

5 comments:

  1. do not despair lullaby.
    my word is my law and i say times three
    i will protect her
    therewillbe a return.
    ////91//

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  2. @ The Forgotten throne: If you hurt Shady...I swear to god I will fucking kill you without a second thought....

    ReplyDelete
  3. if only you could.
    i would lay a world at your feet.
    pity, that.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @ Forgotten throne: I would find a way...I would search endlessly....I would die trying...anything to get Shady back...anything to keep her safe.

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  5. death will not take me now. punishment for failing the ones i love.
    an eternity of ashes.
    without them.

    your Dark Queen is safe, from everything but herself
    your death is not required little lullaby.

    ReplyDelete