Tuesday, 27 September 2011


Doc, I may love you.

I don’t know if I have a firm reason to believe this yet but something in my heart is telling me that I need to help you.

And I feel bad that all I could do was comfort you, but I want to help you so much more, I’m just scared something is wrong with me. I’ve been a lot hungrier, I hate to admit it but I’m sneaking food from the kitchen, I’m terrified the MASC will see me and try to take away my food.

“Casey...I need you to look at this” I pulled him aside for a moment; I know he’s going through a rough time but he needs to see this.

I pulled up my shirt just above my ribs, my stomach was pushed out a bit like a budge, and I hate to describe it because I think it looks horrible. Doc softly put his hand on my stomach and looked at me softly, “Lullaby we need to get an ultrasound or something, this is not normal” I felt so bad, the truth I had never had a relationship with anyone but Doc, I bit my lip softly. I had to ask  

Mystery or Shady or someone, just to make sure that I’m not eating too much, even so I believe Doc fully and grabbed his hand tightly and hugged him and all I could do was cry.

That’s all just cry, every part of me broke down everything was happening to fast for me even the world I once knew was crashing before my very eyes, but I think that was just me as I blacked out. When I woke up in bed I pulled the sheets above my chin and curled up.

Casey was sitting at the foot of the bed rubbing my legs, I smiled softly he was too kind to me. “Tomorrow, maybe Friday we’ll go to the doctor’s I have money to pay if needed, we can get an ultrasound”

At this point nothing mattered, all I knew was Doc and me, and we had to stay with each other no matter what.

Casey I think I love you.

I’m sorry.


  1. A relationship? You hardly know each other!

    You two... just don't jump into anything, ok?

    An ultrasound..... Gods, this could be anything. I wouldn't put it past advocate to get a cancer sample and inject it into someone.

    It's too much to hope that MASC isn't reading this, but I'll make sure you're allowed to see a public doctor and not a MASC one, Lulls, if that's what you want. This kind of thing can take a couple weeks to set up though, scheduling-wise. So it might be better to let them do it just to speed things up.

  2. You're very special to me, too Lullaby. Please try to take it easy, I'm going to talk to Mystery and Shady about getting an escort maybe. Now that I think about it, MASC could probably provide us with an ultrasound also. If we can pull the right strings, that is. Thank you for trusting me with this. If any of the MASC agents give you any trouble about the food, I'll deal with them. Just take things easy, please.

  3. Mystery, I didn't see your comment. I apologize.

    That sounds like a good idea. Again, my apologies.

  4. It's ok. You guys just shouldn't stumble into anything based on an emotionally charged event. Get to know each other first...

  5. Hehehe cancer? Hehehe what can I say, you either love me or hate me.

  6. Show me someone who loves you, monster.

  7. I know what love is like. Just keep him close...don't lose him, like I lost my Prince - like I lost myself.

    Stay...stay strong, okay? I wish I was there with you, my Ladies. I wish Tim was with us, or Ron. AND Ron. No, no, I'm sorry. This isn't about them. Just...just be careful. I love you.