Natural sleep.insomniatic lullaby

Natural sleep, something beautiful I have yet to discover.
But my body can't handle, what I have handed over.
So as for now let an insomniatic sleep rush over me.
And maybe In the morning, I'll learn to dream again.





-I_L

Calmed down.

It took awhile, maybe from shock and not being able to think properly, maybe from the massive amounts of tears that stung my eyes as I bolted out the door running until I felt as if I had lost that tall bastard(excuse my language I usually don't swear still trying to kick the habit).

But eventually after my side ached, my head was pounding and my mind had cleared, even if the fog was only getting thicker I ended up returning home to my bedroom just as I had left it.

Bed unmade, shelves piled with papers and small dolls pillows lay neatly on the floor.
This one moment gave me time to reflect, what was I thinking not only did I go outside but I ran INTO the tree's my brain was not working I don't know WHY I though the trees of all places would be safe!

I'm such a idiot, how can I help other's If I can hardly control my own hurricane of emotion's.
I swear I saw him, he was there, in a mocking way his arms wide open almost as if saying 'come at me'.

I wasn't seeing things, I'm not faking this, this is all real, why was I so scared, I'm such a baby..
Why me?

Guessing I should add the crucial fact that it's probably my fault to begin with, If I had left well enough alone I would be fine.
I posted too much today.
Now I'm treating this site like twitter, it must be annoying.
I'm sorry.
This is a place where I feel understood like i'm not crazy.

For all I know you could be reading this with a smile and laughing to yourself.
Taking it all as a joke.

Should I give up and quit?

Mythical creatures and Me

8:45 PM
I LOVE mythical creatures.

One site I use to visit a lot was http://www.mythicalcreaturesguide.com Although last night was the first time in a year I have visited it.

I decided to visit the fictional creatures page although all together there is only 22 on that one page. I myself have only really looked at 3-4 of them, maybe I'll look at more later on maybe it'll give me something to do Haha.

Did I mention I write poetry and I walk a lot, I went for a walk today it was pouring rain so I got really wet. I was looking on YouTube for some good music I enjoy Requiem for a Dream a lot so I finally got it onto my Ipod.

I also love Miku Hatsune.

10:53 PM

(sorry I left but didn't just wanna post this so i kept it open and came back up at this time)

It's dark out now I think the rain also died out but it's foggy, I was never fond of the fog it's just eerie epically when the street lights turn on and its dark out. 

*shivers*

I have school tomorrow, only 1 week left till exams i'm excited that schools almost done! I'll also be 17 soon then next year ill be graduated Uh its all so scary yet...somehow..exciting.

I'm sleepy..maybe just exhausted not sleepy, no maybe I am sleepy....I think its..I just can't sleep.

I'm going to study my Japanese for as longs as I can tonight..Then read the Bible...maybe try some camomille tea, maybe warm milk watch a little bit of TV.

I have a feeling it will all fail though..in which case my final option at 2:30 am would be to research mythical creatures.  

Outta curiosity who knows anything about something called 'slender man' ?

it was the second last creature on the list of 22 creatures I haven't clicked the link yet but I wanna know if I should.

hummm.....

ah well.

Its 11:16 time to study Japanese....
                                                                 I might post tomorrow morning if I'm not gone for a walk.