Shady's back.
This makes me very happy.
Although I have little to post here this time, Dollmaker has been acting very strange lately she's constantly gripping onto my arms tightly.
She's also been muttering weird things lately:
I hate her, I really hate her...we will never be alone...because I have you, yet I have become nothing more than a doll. I am completely useless too you now. I should not exist in this world. Kill me.
I can't understand what's come over her, but it's causing a pain in my gut that is telling me its not good.
I also had a dream:
I was wandering around a city no Dollmaker just lifeless wind up human like dolls.
I was just walking around this colorless city for hours until I heard a soft voice.
'I won't leave a single man alive, I never wanted to leave you, I wanted to be with you! I'm here, I'll always be here.'
At that moment the 'dolls' came to life and the doll maker stood in the center of them holding out her hands, her human hands with her old sick twisted smile.
'This is the life you always dreamed of, all these dolls can be your friends I can control these dolls come with me deeper into this dream, you can stay here forever.’
her eyes now black as she looked deep into mine. 'Stay here, forever..."
"I don't want this dream!" I cried out, waking up the Dollmaker who just looked at me, she seemed confused.
'What is wrong Lullaby?' she asked me cocking her head.
Did she really not influence that dream?
She herself was asleep when I awoke, I felt a sharp pain in my chest and curled up clutching the fabric of my shirt.
The Dollmaker too clutched the fabric of her dress around her chest area and let out what presumed to be a small gasp for air or a low cry.
"M-my chest it hurts. Lullaby it hurts" she said.
She honestly sounded as if she was in pain.
"P-please, Lullaby make it stop...”
Unsure of what was happening I got scared quickly collecting the doll into my arms I hugged it tightly feeling the warm strands of tears roll down my cheeks.
And we both stopped feeling pain.
And that's when it clicked.
We can feel each others pain.
Showing posts with label Sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sleep. Show all posts
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
Sleep for tomorrow is a new day.
Even I shall attempt sleep.
Attempt being the key word.
Dream sweet.
Rest well.
Gather strength.
For tomorrow is a new day.
Although it's the same battle.
'I often look into the starlit skies and ask myself why it is that I am alive in such a cruel, cold world'
Then the answer always hit's me.
"Because I was given the strength provided to push through..."
Attempt being the key word.
Dream sweet.
Rest well.
Gather strength.
For tomorrow is a new day.
Although it's the same battle.
'I often look into the starlit skies and ask myself why it is that I am alive in such a cruel, cold world'
Then the answer always hit's me.
"Because I was given the strength provided to push through..."
With Faith
-I_L
Monday, 6 June 2011
New life.
I've been thinking a lot.
Too much?
Maybe.
mainly of my life where i'm going from here on in
Hell as long as i stay safe I guess it don't matter but why is it that we take risk's at a young age? I mean don't we ever remember that were human and were eventually gunna grow old.
I've been thinking on if I'll ever get married or maybe someday settle down.
Sometime's I think too far ahead.
Scary.
It's officially summer with the hot muggy weather now giving my family a new reason to wine(funny actually they complained it was too cold and wasn't warming up fast enough and BAM beautiful hot day and they complain it's too hot. Guess its hard to adjust from winter jackets to summer shorts in a one day timespan)
I've been spending a lot of time on the roof, just staring out into the ocean wondering if I ran where on earth I would go, how far i would go, and if I could do it.
Can I do it? will I do it? well eventually, It seems so exciting get away stay away be free even for a day, until the real world hits down on you after awhile. I mean i'm 16, no steady job, no cash, no mode of transportation(excluding feet and bike) then it get's dark out and Slenderman is out there waiting and his little minions too, there all waiting.
The leaves are coming out, all of them are so beautiful this was her favorite time of the year, Jessica loved running around and looking at the leaves and the pussy willows.
I always had to remind her not to pick them because they were just about to give new life.
The dandelions are all blooming too the bright yellow flowers everyone call's weed's.
I picked a batch, there in my bedroom in a small vase.
I know there going to die soon, that makes mii sad.
Lately I've just wanted to sleep, thats all just sleep get up eat a little then go back to sleep.
It's very strange actually I never get like this, I ran at 6 this morning then came home and slept till 7:30 thats only 15 minutes for mii to get ready.
Not that I really gave a bloody hell, I just got on some clean clothing, did my makeup put on something so I wouldn't smell of sweat and got on the bus.
I won't talk to my friends there all too lovey dovey in with there boyfriends and girlfriends, I can't stand to think of having a relationship right now, last thing I need it to get someone else tangled in this mess.
And if they didn't get tangled I would need someone who A] would mind me and my emotional issues and B] wouldn't mind running away with mii.
It's really kind of a burden, that why I choose not to work with anyone.
Fear I'll just become a burden.
I had a dream last night, I saw Jessica she reached out her hand and when I took it she gave me a hug and said 'It's ok, I'm not in pain anymore, just go, keep going and don't stop, this will be the last time you see me but don't give up, you are what will keep my memory alive..because you are the only one who remembers me'
She smiled even though she was crying.
'I'll still watch you, like I promised just not under the stars'.
I woke up I felt calm and at peace.
but I know.
Slenderman, you will pay for taking my Jessica away from mii.
Hear that?
I hope so because when I get a hold of you you'll wish that you didn't lay one finger on her.
as for your little proxies and followers, I'll get rid of you too, one by one.
Too much?
Maybe.
mainly of my life where i'm going from here on in
Hell as long as i stay safe I guess it don't matter but why is it that we take risk's at a young age? I mean don't we ever remember that were human and were eventually gunna grow old.
I've been thinking on if I'll ever get married or maybe someday settle down.
Sometime's I think too far ahead.
Scary.
It's officially summer with the hot muggy weather now giving my family a new reason to wine(funny actually they complained it was too cold and wasn't warming up fast enough and BAM beautiful hot day and they complain it's too hot. Guess its hard to adjust from winter jackets to summer shorts in a one day timespan)
I've been spending a lot of time on the roof, just staring out into the ocean wondering if I ran where on earth I would go, how far i would go, and if I could do it.
Can I do it? will I do it? well eventually, It seems so exciting get away stay away be free even for a day, until the real world hits down on you after awhile. I mean i'm 16, no steady job, no cash, no mode of transportation(excluding feet and bike) then it get's dark out and Slenderman is out there waiting and his little minions too, there all waiting.
The leaves are coming out, all of them are so beautiful this was her favorite time of the year, Jessica loved running around and looking at the leaves and the pussy willows.
I always had to remind her not to pick them because they were just about to give new life.
The dandelions are all blooming too the bright yellow flowers everyone call's weed's.
I picked a batch, there in my bedroom in a small vase.
I know there going to die soon, that makes mii sad.
Lately I've just wanted to sleep, thats all just sleep get up eat a little then go back to sleep.
It's very strange actually I never get like this, I ran at 6 this morning then came home and slept till 7:30 thats only 15 minutes for mii to get ready.
Not that I really gave a bloody hell, I just got on some clean clothing, did my makeup put on something so I wouldn't smell of sweat and got on the bus.
I won't talk to my friends there all too lovey dovey in with there boyfriends and girlfriends, I can't stand to think of having a relationship right now, last thing I need it to get someone else tangled in this mess.
And if they didn't get tangled I would need someone who A] would mind me and my emotional issues and B] wouldn't mind running away with mii.
It's really kind of a burden, that why I choose not to work with anyone.
Fear I'll just become a burden.
I had a dream last night, I saw Jessica she reached out her hand and when I took it she gave me a hug and said 'It's ok, I'm not in pain anymore, just go, keep going and don't stop, this will be the last time you see me but don't give up, you are what will keep my memory alive..because you are the only one who remembers me'
She smiled even though she was crying.
'I'll still watch you, like I promised just not under the stars'.
I woke up I felt calm and at peace.
but I know.
Slenderman, you will pay for taking my Jessica away from mii.
Hear that?
I hope so because when I get a hold of you you'll wish that you didn't lay one finger on her.
as for your little proxies and followers, I'll get rid of you too, one by one.
With hope
-I_L
Friday, 3 June 2011
Natural sleep.insomniatic lullaby
But my body can't handle, what I have handed over.
So as for now let an insomniatic sleep rush over me.
And maybe In the morning, I'll learn to dream again.
-I_L
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
to sleep anymore...will become my nightmare.
The drug's worked, I was knocked out hardly woke up till I felt a stabbing pain in my neck and then woke up crying.
I swear it must have been maybe 2:30 AM although it was hard to tell I woke up In my bed, sore, very sore the left side of my neck ached so badly could no one hear me crying?
I moved slowly out of bed and into my dressing room and turned on the light's, they stung my eyes and looked at my neck, a bruise bad one too, hurt a lot.
It only hurts now If I turn my head the wrong way, my friend saw it, we were sitting at the lunch table talking she moved my hair back, she saw it and I knew she did.
well walking to class she stopped me 'Why is there a bruise on your neck, if your upset about something tell me'.
I did, I told her 'I woke up and it was there...'.
Nothing else was said, what else could I say?
I will not sleep again, now I have a reason to stay awake who could have done this?
why would they...
I don't think I'll sleep anymore with my own free will...
I don't see why people love sleeping, horrible, horrible, horrible!
I'll create my own little daytime lullaby, so I can be at peace and relaxed...Maybe then I wont need to sleep.
I swear it must have been maybe 2:30 AM although it was hard to tell I woke up In my bed, sore, very sore the left side of my neck ached so badly could no one hear me crying?
I moved slowly out of bed and into my dressing room and turned on the light's, they stung my eyes and looked at my neck, a bruise bad one too, hurt a lot.
It only hurts now If I turn my head the wrong way, my friend saw it, we were sitting at the lunch table talking she moved my hair back, she saw it and I knew she did.
well walking to class she stopped me 'Why is there a bruise on your neck, if your upset about something tell me'.
I did, I told her 'I woke up and it was there...'.
Nothing else was said, what else could I say?
I will not sleep again, now I have a reason to stay awake who could have done this?
why would they...
I don't think I'll sleep anymore with my own free will...
I don't see why people love sleeping, horrible, horrible, horrible!
I'll create my own little daytime lullaby, so I can be at peace and relaxed...Maybe then I wont need to sleep.
I_L
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