friend/foe?

Hey.
I'm semi-alive I like to think I'll never be alive because a part of me can't sleep.

Maybe because Mr.noface follows mii too.
Maybe because proxies won't stop leave me lovely dead animals.
Maybe because I'm half insane.

All of the above//>?
Dammit.
My 'friend' got her nose pierced, personally I think it looks:
Super fucking ridicules, its Ugly as fucking hell and I almost punched her in the face when I saw her.
No joke she lied to me too.


she said 'Oh no I wont get it done' when I asked her about it.
Pops in Wednesday 'Oh hi' *Tries to hug me* I pushed her away.
I FUCKING HATE HER RIGHT NOW!


I don't think I've ever been SO mad at someone.
'Oh but I'm still the same me as yesterday'
Yeah with a fucking silver thing attached to your FUCKING NOSE!\
'Oh but I'll only have it in for a little while then I can get a pretty rhinestone'
I REALLY hope you fucking wake up one day and look into the mirror and regret ever getting it done!.
I really do 
Needless to say I stopped talking to her all together, not so hard because I'm so mad at her.

She walked up to me and tried to apologize
stammering like a stupid child
I laughed at her and told her I didn't give a dam anymore, she could do what she wanted because I was no longer involved in her life.
She begged me to just talk to her.
I said no.
I said soon it wouldn't matter.
I said I would be gone.
I didn't say goodbye.
I didn't say how I hated how she fucking lied to me.
I didn't say how hurt I was.
I didn't say how much I loathed her.

I didn't say a lot of things I should have.

she was right it was her choice to get it.
but it's my choice on my opinion.

She's right I'm a bitch because I stopped talking to her because of that one thing,
but she don't know its was because of a lot of things,
She don't know that when I stopped talking to her all her other little friends stopped talking to me.
The people who I THOUGHT were my friends
Aren't they wont talk to me because I wont talk to her.

Jack asses.
what the hell?!
as if I didn't have enough issues.
I can't wait till two of them graduate and I never have to see them again.
then next year its her and her boyfriend.
Her and her FUCKING boyfriend.


Screw them.
Screw life.
Screw slenderman.
FUCK HIM, LEAVE ME ALONE, get out of my head slenderman, you think your so good?


What is it you even want of me?
To make me a follower? A proxie? you want me to work for you? do you wanna kill me?




 I'm running away soon, pretty damn soon.
God know's where, all I know is to get off this place and somewhere far away.
Somewhere far far away.
From everything, everyone.




 'Do you wanna play a game? I'll play a game I'll set the stage and you will run, I'll follow you with careful steps, I'm just behind you peek-a-boo'
What the hell does that mean?

Confusion

-I_L

 

Update on Jessica.

StillMissing.

Her parent's will not be on any news station or any radio broadcast, nor any newspaper articles.
This is a very touchy subject for them, they refuse to let the public know, my parents would do the same for me it's the way my family is.

My mother was on the phone with my aunt all day crying I felt so pathetic I couldn't do or say anything to comfort her.
'It's OK' is a lie
'She'll come home' is false
because I don't even know if we will find her, if my dream is right slenderman could have done anything to her, killed her, hollowed her, taken her somewhere we will never find.

I wrapped her in a blanket she's asleep.
My aunt just called, "Baby, Jessica..she left us..why"
"Jessica never did anything, I will personally find the person responsible and rip them apart with my bare hands" was that the best type I could offer?

Was it the only truth I could create?
I would rip them apart I swear to God almighty, I will tear there beating heart out and make them pay.

I won't stop until Jessica is found.
I won't rest until she is safe.

-I_L

Calmed down.

It took awhile, maybe from shock and not being able to think properly, maybe from the massive amounts of tears that stung my eyes as I bolted out the door running until I felt as if I had lost that tall bastard(excuse my language I usually don't swear still trying to kick the habit).

But eventually after my side ached, my head was pounding and my mind had cleared, even if the fog was only getting thicker I ended up returning home to my bedroom just as I had left it.

Bed unmade, shelves piled with papers and small dolls pillows lay neatly on the floor.
This one moment gave me time to reflect, what was I thinking not only did I go outside but I ran INTO the tree's my brain was not working I don't know WHY I though the trees of all places would be safe!

I'm such a idiot, how can I help other's If I can hardly control my own hurricane of emotion's.
I swear I saw him, he was there, in a mocking way his arms wide open almost as if saying 'come at me'.

I wasn't seeing things, I'm not faking this, this is all real, why was I so scared, I'm such a baby..
Why me?

Guessing I should add the crucial fact that it's probably my fault to begin with, If I had left well enough alone I would be fine.
I posted too much today.
Now I'm treating this site like twitter, it must be annoying.
I'm sorry.
This is a place where I feel understood like i'm not crazy.

For all I know you could be reading this with a smile and laughing to yourself.
Taking it all as a joke.

Should I give up and quit?